Cherokee Nation ~ Outtalucker

I had read a letter a while back "Courtesy of David Cornsilk, Cherokee Nation" and the comments that followed.

I was seriously surprised at some of the reactions to his words.

I am an Outtalucker. I know this. My family was denied by the Dawes commission, and appeals, all the way to the Supreme Court. But, so what?

Since I was a small child I was taught I was Cherokee. I was told my great great great grandmother walked the trail of tears.  It broke my heart.  But, I was a wannabe all my life. Therefore, I have spent a great deal of time looking for proof or denial of that. And, yes, I am one of those people who would say "well my family was just wrong...." but, the more I search, the more I find I am truly an Outtalucker.

My family tells me I am Cherokee. My aunts and uncles and grandparents were all born within Cherokee "territory". My family lived with the Cherokee Nation.  My Great Great Grandfather fought for years to be included on the Dawes Roll. We have testimony upon testimony that our family is Cherokee. They state that we are related by blood to known Cherokee families, with three of the direct relatives included on the rolls.  But, for some reason they did not meet the requirements at the time (although I'm not really sure why yet AND I even have Google!) ~ so we are outtaluck.  It just is how it is.

I STILL want to know my family lines. I STILL want to know where they fit in. I STILL want to know more about Cherokee culture. I STILL want to learn the Cherokee traditions and stories. I STILL want my children to know what the Cherokee people went through (and they do). It STILL matters to me and I STILL don't want people to forget.

My heart breaks for what the Cherokee people have endured, I cry reading about the history. Imagine being a girl, and hearing the terrible stories about their treatment and thinking your gr.gr.gr. grandmother was going through all that.  It is amazing how they have still endured, they are still a Nation, they are still a proud people. I have nothing but respect for the Cherokee people who are tribal members and keep the nation going.  

But, the fact remains that I cannot be included. No amount of whining or crying or complaining is going to remake history.  And, it is senseless to be mean or cruel to one another over decisions that were made many years ago. 

I can continue to learn their culture. I can learn their history. I can continue to try to trace my family back to the rolls of 1835. I can be sorry that I am an outtalucker.

I am proud to have any Cherokee blood at all (if I in fact do - and I will know for sure in a couple more months).  I am proud to be who I am.  I accept being an outtalucker. And, if that should change, that's great. If not, then that's okay too.  It doesn't change who I am or where I come from. 

I completely understand that the registered members of the Cherokee Nation are offended by people who just state they are Cherokee. I may not "like" that I cannot be accepted without proof, but I completely respect and understand that.

(And btw... it even offends me when I hear people say... I want to prove my Cherokee heritage for - a college scholarship.. for money.. for land.. for whatever. - I want to prove my Cherokee heritage because that is who I believe I am - that is my family. I've already graduated college, and I own my own land. I want to know more about where we came from, what did my grgrgr grandparents go through?  Who were their parents -that I cannot find?  Who is in the nation today am I related to?)

Maybe I understand it because even though I am a wannabe, I am also just an outtalucker.  ~at least for now. 

"unetlanvhi detsalasgesdi"    :)